Where to start on this macabre trip through the human body and the horrible things that can be done to it?
Here's a theory for you: of all the American presidents, the one most like British superspy James Bond is the 20th president, James Garfield.
Of all the sites that celebrate the Gipper's Illinois years, Dixon deserves bragging rights, for having the one, true Ronald Reagan Boyhood Home. Out of a bunch.
McKinley's statue is across the street from a KFC. But if you think it's weird seeing the President and the Colonel together, well, think again.
The statue shows Lincoln as he heads to Washington to begin his presidency, though at first glance you might think he's belting out his favorite Celine Dion number,
And if you look at just his torso, you might think of him as a sort of funky 1970's type - give the man a zodiac-related medallion to wear and he'll get that night fever, he knows how to show it.
Washington's sword looks like a magic wand. Seriously, doesn't he look like he's about to shout "alohomora!" and unlock the hell out of some doors?
How disturbingly fitting that the highest drama in the history of American crime should take place at a theater.
It's the only statue depicting the Great Emancipator as a young military man, looking out at the river and trying his damnedest to remember the commands he'll need to lead his men.
A simple, elegant black stone monument that marks the final stop on the biggest funeral procession the country had - and probably has - ever seen.