Balki

Forget It, Cousin… It’s Balkitown

In Blog, Strange Week by Brady Carlson0 Comments

Bronson Pinchot is Balki

When you think historic preservation, think Balki:

Harford was first settled in 1790, and it’s a shame that none of the original cabins still stand in the historic little village. There remain, however, several houses dating from 1840 and before, and Bronson Pinchot is determined to restore them to their original appearance and function

I’m going to write some sentences that, like the above, have an ending you’d never guess was coming:

The issue of protecting the nation’s manholes has long perplexed city planners, and Alex Trebek is determined to keep those holes covered. By men.

Millions of Americans are confused by frogs every year, and Susan Lucci is determined to bring about better interspecies relations.

Removing Senator Kennedy’s brain tumor requires unparalleled precision and skill, and Sheila E is determined to remove it safely and get the Massachusetts Democrat back to the Senate.

So apparently Bronson Pinchot has been buying up every piece of the historic town that he can get, to turn it into a… historic town? I don’t know all the details, but it’s pretty safe to assume that he’ll do one of two things. Either he’ll turn Harford into Balkitown, a planned community based on the Perfect Strangers universe (town motto: “Oh no, Cousin”) or he’ll buy a time machine and rule the town from 1840 on, and he and Cousin Larry will hatch a harebrained scheme to prevent the Civil War from happening.

In a related note, the lady from I Married Dora has started buying houses in my neighborhood. Should I be worried?

Thanks Cousin Yoshi

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