NO! You gotta go down!

Ok, how the hell am I supposed to top this?

Point Break LIVE!, the Brechtian blockbuster which garnered a “Seattle P-I Best of Seattle 2004” award, as well as rave reviews across the nation, tells the story of former college football star Johnny Utah — Keanu Reeves in the film — who goes in pursuit of the surfing, bankrobbing, skydiving, bare-hand-fighting adrenaline-junkie-cum-Zen-master Bodhi Sattva. The show features armed robbery, big-wave surfing, car chases, explosions, and no less than two extended skydiving sequences.

Best of all, the starring role of Keanu will be selected at random from the audience each night, with the lucky winner reading their entire script off of cue-cards. This method manages to capture the rawness of a Keanu Reeves performance even from those who generally think themselves incapable of acting.

I just know this show is gonna set back my plans for Suzanne Somers Presents She’s The Sheriff: The Interactive Exhibit. Well, that, and that Suzanne Somers won’t return my calls. How about a water park thrill ride based on The Chevy Chase Show?

Now if you’ll excuse me, gentleman, I promised to take Mrs. Lincoln to Ford’s Theater tonight. We’ll continue this tomorrow.

(Thanks for finding this, Bodhi Sonya. But your surfboard still BOTHERS ME)