Lame New World Week 6: Shopping Bot Can Block the Juice Aisle Just As Well As Granny

In Blog by Brady Carlson0 Comments

We’re a little behind here, so let’s get right back into the, um, action.

The rules, once again: each submission can gain its movement up to ten points, or lose up to five.

The Star Wars Movement

Star Wars vegetable carving

So all of a sudden the Star Wars people are all about food and nutrition, I guess? This is actually a pretty solid strategy for taking over mainstream culture. Everybody eats, right? And Star Wars vegetable carvings aren’t as incomprehensible as the weird Japanese tuna commercial we got last time around, and they’re nicely carved and detailed. But imagine eating a few of these in front of Yoda. How you grow so big, eating food of this kind?

Points: +4

The Robot Movement

Robot goes shopping

Here’s where robots move out of the high-tech dystopian future we’ve all feared and into the more benign, Rosie-from-The-Jetsons future we’ve all, well, also feared. Anyway, if robots are the future, better they be robots that go shopping with your grandma than Skynet or Megatron. I really like that the bot helps Gran remember her shopping list and suggests good recipes, but for the full effect, the robot needs to constantly pull out its wallet and show pictures of its grandchildren, and use checks at the checkout.

Points: +5

The Math and Science Movement

Periodic Table table

The science people may be the tortoise to everyone else’s hares in this contest. They’re not ever pulling out hugely impressive ideas here, but they’re consistent and they don’t do much that creeps you out. Take the Periodic Table table – it’s not going to make you jump up and yell about how awesome it is, but you certainly might smile a little and say “a table of the periodic table. Yeah, I get it.” It’s why you party with the wild guy in college and settle down with the reliable guy later on. Fun is fun, but sometimes you need a guy who can be there every day. That’s what the science people are here, at least until someone opens a “Fibonacci sequence brothel” in rural Nevada.

Points: +2

The Video Game Movement

Not safe for work doesn’t even cover this Craigslist posting. Not safe for civilization, more like.

A power glove request that is WRONG WRONG WRONG

This is either a nearly-great satire or the ickiest moment of the year. Better to be cautious and mark this as WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG

Points: -5

The LEGO Movement

LEGO kitchen counter

The LEGO kitchen counter seems fun enough. The problem here isn’t with the project but with the commenters on the page about the project. They’re complaining about the nomenclature used to describe the counter – folks, does it really matter whether we decide if “LEGO bricks” is a redundant phrase or not? You can’t LEGO-ize the culture if you’re quibbling about phrasing. Go build LEGO scenes of H.P. Lovecraft novels, or something.

Points: +1

So, after week six, the standings are as follows:

S.Wars Robots Science V.Games LEGO

16

8

19

15

17

Until next week…

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