No One Will Mistake Me For Burt Reynolds, Despite My Starring in a Remake of “Gator”

Burt Reynolds in a singlet

I think it goes without saying that I’m no Burt Reynolds. Even though I just said it. (Clearly we’re off to a rocky start here.)

Why do I say this? For one thing, Burt Reynolds knows that when something is so obvious that you need not say it, he doesn’t say it. I do. But there’s more. Burt looks better in a singlet than I do.

Burt Reynolds book cover

And Burt gets ridiculously saucy fan mail – and sends ridiculously saucy replies:

Burt Reynolds book excerpt

My book would not sear with the raw heat of male sex appeal – though it might evoke a quiet, friendly dignity. Nah, it would simply evoke bewilderment. For every person who looked at Burt’s book and marveled at how well he filled out a singlet, there would be a person looking at my book and wondering who got blackmailed into publishing such a thing.

Brady's version of Burt's book cover

As for the randy fan mail? Unlikely, and even if there was such a thing in my book, I wouldn’t pick up on the vibes anyway. My wife, who, when we were dating, once told me she wanted to “warm up” and received a pair of socks in response, can attest to this.

Brady's version of Burt's book

But I promise you this: I will never appear on a book cover in a singlet. In fact, I expect that will be the first thing reviewers note and praise about my writings.

via The Chive

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