Save Botswana’s Onion Farmers

In Blog by Brady Carlson0 Comments

So here it is, the second half of December already, and you’ve been sitting patiently by your computer since December 1st wondering where the heck the Living Indefinitely update was.

Well, probably not, since none of you bothered to write and ask. Either that, or you’re so polite that you figured we were totally busy and just couldn’t get to the update right away like usual. This is not exactly true, we spent most of the month in front of the TV, watching “Trista and Ryan’s wedding” repeatedly. (Dave still can’t get through it without bawling.)

But the REAL reason the update is so late is politics. We were making a statement- by not saying anything at all. We decided to hold an 18-day silent vigil to raise awareness for the cause of helping onion farmers in Botswana.

You see, a guy came into the main offices around Thanksgiving and suggested we do something to help the poor onion farmers. “They’re starving!” he said, over and over. MikeO asked why they didn’t just eat the onions; the guy said that wasn’t the point. So being the good citizens we are, we said sure, we’ll help. And thus the idea was
hatched: we’ll simply hold out on our update for eighteen days, and rather than spending every day at our site like usual, people will inevitably start wondering about Botswana’s onion farmers, and in doing so, become so enraged by their horrible treatment that they would rise up and do something to help.

That was the plan anyway. But it didn’t work out quite so well. For one thing, we didn’t raise any awareness at all. Zero. This is probably because we were incredibly quiet about our vigil. Most folks will put out a press release, or hand out little cards explaining why they’re not speaking or whatever. We thought that any of that would run contrary to the spirit of the vigil; in fact, we’ve all been living inside the main offices for the past 18 days, speaking only to each other and shooing away anyone who even looks through our picture window.

On top of that, it turns out that the Botswana onion farmers aren’t in the middle of some big starvation crisis. There aren’t any Botswana onion farmers. That’s what we get for not hiring a fact-checker, I guess.

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