Spam Poetry Reading #1

We here at Living Indefinitely are no strangers to unsolicited commercial e-mail; amidst the 8000 or so e-mails we receive, several dozen are inevitably invitations to save on term life insurance, or to take advantage of this last offer on The Banned C.D. But those nefarious bandwidth thieves know that it will take more than a simple promise of “p*a*r*i*s” to get our attention. Thus, they send us what appears to be completely incomprehensible poetry. We’ve included a few of our favorite poems below. Hope you enjoy them.

“Scripture Galley Equanimity”

by Ahmad Davidson
scripture galley equanimity galapagos deadhead flame sicily ideologue soda collocation continental dartmouth nbs sternberg melt nitroglycerine chord gnomonic billings sobriquet mark amigo czerniak vitrify pragmatic breach

Ahmad Davidson’s first poem seems to touch on the many troubling facets of modern politics, referencing Paul Wolfowitz (the symbolic “ideologue”) and an obvious parallel to the Iraq war (“nitroglycerine”). The “galapagos deadhead flame” suggests that hippies and activists are still fighting the good fight against the neoconservative agenda, and though hope is fleeting (the only possible interpretation of the puzzling “nbs sternberg”), the concluding words, “vitrify pragmatic breach,” show Davidson’s optimism. This is a spam poet worth watching in future.

“Commit Slanderous Deluxe”

by Butts Ola

commit slanderous deluxe entropy comatose recline submittal hypothesis gander occlusion roomful declination formulate took agribusiness roberts annals thinnish melancholy ivory manic cancellate ceramic carfare bewitch dodecahedral bobbin flock thine davison trw schweitzer science dossier misanthrope lipscomb policemen
roof brethren helmet stowage grumman bookshelf dahl detonable belief tally hen iraq

This lighthearted piece mocks bourgeois values from the start, throwing down a challenge that all of us “comatose recline” lest we be thrust into the “melancholy ivory manic cancellate.” Nothing is sacred to Butts Ola, not even medicine, or “Schweitzer science” as he derisively calls it. “Helmet stowage” is a powerful metaphor for the emotional disconnect we often find in our fast-paced, emotionally numb world. An impressive debut.

“Dayton Quit Bedstraw”

by Greta Lovell

tipple cadaverous fullback scandalous alexandre diddle mycobacteria adjective clairvoyant chill picky these crescent refrain freewheel bulwark blueback illusionary layman renounce elbow america anneal snobbish unitarian enol cocoon hippodrome pend scan lilliputian adolescent construe hokan dayton quit bedstraw

An erotic daydream full of passion and possibility, Greta Lovell pulls back the layers of our sexual selves and forces us to look hard in the mirror. She asks, just why do we frown upon “Scandalous Alexandre” for his dalliance with mycobacteria? And there is no answer, for those of us stuck in the repression of “elbow America” are truly no better than he. Nor is the “snobbish unitarian” in his “enol cocoon,” hidden from his deepest desires. Her last line conjures up dangerous, delicious images of the “lilliputian adolescent” -probably a reference to the dating site promoted in this spam message. Lovell is no Jasper McGill in the spam poetry world, but she is a distinct voice and worth a read.

“Teen Rider”

by Jazerut Batyjug

crossed rabbitsvpat housenobody afterwards backvsomersault,
sings everything leaned, chives our parrot.
far thingschips unfit splash cauldron, herein flourished.
knave sparrows their thats calmly:

shuddering tittered meeting leeks length sunset.
nurse fishvfootman, supply shedding split casts discretion?
our cupboards, weak greatest bent thousands.

Batyjug, a master of the postmodern style of spam poetry, offers up another of his enigmatic paeans to confusion. Conflict is rampant here- rabbits are fighting pat, back is against somersault and the footman is challenged by the fish- but where does the housenobody fit in? In “our cupboards”? Perhaps- or perhaps that’s just what Batyjug wants us to think. I posit that there is more here than meets the eye, that whatever it is that “chives our parrot” is what really draws the reader in. No one can say for sure- and no doubt Batyjug likes it that way.

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