Thanks for the Lame-Ass Edits, I’m Going Home!

Target: Duff

“I, who was 12 when Appetite For Destruction came out, now have great grandchildren.”

Much has changed in the years that Guns ‘n’ Roses has been working on their latest album, Chinese Democracy. Decades have passed. Political dynasties have been born and then fallen apart. A crazy hippie has walked the Appalachian Trail on his hinder wearing nothing but a baggie filled with hashish residue. Three galaxies have come and gone. I, who was 12 when Appetite For Destruction came out, now have great grandchildren.

Fortunately, we’ve been able to pass the time by listening to Nickelback records, which cause you to blackout and forget that time has even passed. And we trust that Axl will deliver the record when it’s ready. We’ve bought our cryonic preservation packages so we can be thawed out to hear it.

Ok, I kid again. The truth is – and most people don’t know this – that Chinese Democracy was ready to release in 2003. But when Axl saw the Wikipedia article on “Sweet Child O Mine,” he decided to wait until the world got a little less stupid:

The song is credited as being written by Guns N’ Roses as a band; more specifically it contains Slash’s riff, Izzy’s chords, Axl’s lyrics, McKagan’s bass line, and Adler’s drum line.

So when a band writes a song together, the band members write and play the parts they play and wrote? I could’ve figured that out myself, more specifically, DUH.

We’ll be waiting, Axl…

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