The Coming War With Robots: Robokiyu the Rescue Robot

In Blog by Brady Carlson0 Comments

Imagine you’re sitting out one night at a bar, celebrating Mom’s victory in the presidential election, and then the roof caves in. Or an earthquake hits. Or Carrie Fisher shoots a rocket at the building. And as you lay in the rubble, cataloguing which of your organs has been crushed beyond repair and which are probably still ok, if they can just be tucked back into your body, pray that you’re not in Tokyo, because a government-sanctioned robot will pull you out and eat you.

Look strong. If Robokiyu senses weakness you're going down that conveyor belt.

Supposedly Robokiyu is a “rescue robot” who can use his claws to drag a person out of a disaster site and then… no no no no no it will devour him! There’s no way to look at that green chute as anything but a feed tray!

Think I’m paranoid? Check this out:

Pouring a Robokiyuweiser.

Not only is he hungry for human flesh, the robot already has a drinking problem. So it’s only a matter of time before Robokiyu goes nuts and begins devouring people under the pretense of “rescue operations” – a convenient excuse, since he’ll claim that he was “too late to save them.” Then he’ll replicate himself with those big claws, and his minions will eat the entire human population of Japan, leaving the 700 million super-powered giant monsters to share power with the robots (think “Deputy Prime Minister Mothra.”)

Then it’s on to the rest of the world. Maybe laying in that rubble doesn’t sound so bad.

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