This Language Sux0rz

In No Duh Wikipedia by Brady Carlson0 Comments

Believe it or not, there is a worse writing style than Wikipedia. I think we can all agree that the Leet language is the real world equivalent of Newspeak, designed only to narrow our range of thought so that, eventually, news stories will look something like “CLINTON: UR A N00B, OBAMA” or “MACCAIN WILL PWN IRAQ.”

So, you ask, how does Wikipedia handle this phenomenon? Well, pretty much like you’d expect:

The name “lolcat” is a compound word of “lol” and “cat”.

OMG!

I'm in ur wiki typin dum stuf

Let’s read on.

These images usually consist of a photo of a cat

So not only is the word “lolcat” derived in part from the word “cat,” but cats appear in lolcat pictures! It’s all coming together now!!!

As I was saying about narrowing the range of thought…

The LOLCat Bible Translation Project is a wiki-based website set up in July 2007 by Martin Grondin, where editors aim to translate the entire Bible into “lolspeak”

The project has been praised by Ben Huh, the owner of the website icanhascheezburger.com which popularized lolcats, who stated that the LOLCat Bible has inspired other religious texts to be translated into the pidgin, such as the Koran, and that it has made clear that “the ability to publish is now open to anyone”.

Me, I realized the ability to publish was open to everyone when someone created a website called icanhascheezburger.com, in the same way the band Britny Fox made me realize hair-metal was open to everyone. What the LOLCat Bible project made me realize is that people who translate stuff into Klingon now have people they can make fun of.

The fun don’t end there, though.

ICHC was created on January 11, 2007, when Nakagawa posted an image of a smiling grey cat with a caption of the cat asking if it could “has cheezburger” (sic). It is from this image that the site derives its name.

If you figured, logically, that two nerds made up a really dumb phrase and then waited around for a cat somewhere in the world to ask for a cheeseburger, well, guess again.

It’s sentences like these that show how hard it is for these Leet people to rejoin the real world and make whole sentences:

Although the site features mostly cats, occasionally other animals such as rabbits and walruses have made appearances.

A cursory check of The Tree of Life site will, in fact, verify that the animal kingdom consists of mostly cats with occasional appearances by other animals such as rabbits and walruses.

Or, more succinctly: UR SITE CAN HAS OTHER ANIMALS SUCH AS RABBITS AND WALRUSES

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