One of the worst things you can do in the wild is disturb a hive of bees. Highly social creatures, bees swarm and sting anything they perceive as a threat to the colony, giving their lives so that the colony can survive. A bee attack on a human is serious business – it’s a life-threatening attack, and even if you do survive, there’s a good chance that you’ll a) have serious physical injury and/or b) describe the attack with phrases you’d only expect from a member of Motley Crue describing one of his OD’s. For example:

“I ‘was’ bees,” Connell said. “I had bees all over me, and I remember brushing my hair back and tossing dust on my hair and suddenly my arm ‘was’ bees,” he recalled. “The hand that I’m using to knock the bees out of my hair is now a bee hand.”

“There was the typical bee in your nose, in your eyes, bee in your mouth, in your eardrums,” Connell said. “I remember putting my finger in my ears and shoving a bee further into my eardrums.”

Attention readers from Phoenix: is having a bee in your nose truly “typical” where you live? Cause up here, it’s pretty rare.