Usually I trust you, internet, and your memes, but lately… First there was  planking, and then there was owling, and now there’s swatting, which is just… I never thought I’d be nostalgic for rickrolling, is what I’m saying.

North Toronto resident Jason Myles believes he is the latest victim of a rather vicious prank known as “swatting,” which involves calling 911 with a spoofed phone number to report a crime in hopes of convincing the police to send over a SWAT team.

I’m neither a SWAT team nor Toronto, so I don’t know whether swatting is a trend or not. I’ll call the internet police and get back to you on that.

Now you might think to yourself, “What do we need all these new -ings for anyway? Shouldn’t bowling, or standing, or industrial smoothing be enough for us?” But the truth is, progress is marching on. Or maybe planking on, I’m not sure. What we need to do is find new -ings to turn into fads.

My proposal? Lendl-ing, or living in the manner of tennis great Ivan Lendl. Facebook users will post pictures of themselves repeatedly win the French Open, defecting to the United States from Communist Czechoslovakia, and retiring from chronic back problems.

Ivan Lendl

Whippling wouldn’t be bad, either; you post a picture of yourself surreptitiously squeezing the Charmin after telling others not to indulge, like Mr. Whipple used to do.

Mr. Whipple

And when those fads come and go… Urkel-ing. Which speaks for itself.


Grab your rackets, your bathroom tissue and your suspenders, folks! We’ve got some fads to start!