I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you, the reader of this website, are an idiot with a terrible business card. This I have come to learn:

“It took me 25 years to design this,” he says, and that’s a bummer because he’s a business card designer and has only been able to finish two projects, lifetime. Not to worry, though – he’s well on his way to being profitable, provided he continues working until at least the year 2860.

When 900 years your business cards reach, look as good they will not!

“I build crowds, guaranteed! What do you do, guaranteed?” Well, take a look at MY card, dude, and it’ll be pretty obvious!

Our awesome business card

Even if they don’t like me, they don’t throw it out.