Getting sick is a drag. I caught a nasty cold bug recently and have been suffering badly. The actual symptoms of the cold are not so bad- Iâ€™ve had worse sniffling and coughing and congestion- but this cold has interrupted my sleep patterns so completely that sometimes I sit down and enter this dreamy state where Iâ€™m not sure if Iâ€™m really awake or if Iâ€™m dreaming. Why, just today I sat down at the computer and fell half-asleep. I dreamt that I was a writer for some weird satire website about some green town and bad movies and music CDâ€™s. It was so bizarre. Me, release a CD of music? Sure, Iâ€™ve released CDâ€™s of my now-legendary series of speeches to the John Birch Society but as inspiring as they are, theyâ€™re not exactly musical. My columns defending Lyndon LaRouche against the Satanic financial oligarchy that controls our planet are serious political thought, a far cry from satire, which has no value except to ignorant teenagers. And Iâ€™ve never even seen a bad movie. I only watch the best movies- The Mexican and Monkey Bone come to mind, naturally.
It was such a surreal dream, I started sweating and became quite agitated. I woke up breathing heavily at my desk a few hours later. My pet elephant Fudgie brought a plate of sugar cookies over and the Gortonâ€™s Fisherman dropped by to see if I needed any family-size boxes of breaded perch filets, which calmed me down considerably.
I guess what Iâ€™m saying is that while there are some good parts to being sick, I wish I was sleeping a little better. This dream state makes me feel a little funky.