Leave it to Oprah to revitalize my Nixon Everywhere project. As part of the grand sendoff for her TV show, she’s built the Oprah-fy yourself picture maker, which she probably built herself while running three miles on a treadmill and developing four new pilots for the fall TV schedule.

The Oprah-fication of the remaining human population is, I suppose, Oprah’s way of saying it’s our turn to inspire and inform people, and to showcase TV hosts who go only by “Dr.” and one other name. While I am reasonably competent at getting people to talk about me by using only my first name, the rest of Oprah’s portfolio is probably out of my reach. The nation doesn’t need me to run a book club and make everyone read the novelization of “The Karate Kid.” The nation does, however, need Richard Nixon with Oprah hair, and on that front I can deliver:

Richard Nixon with Oprah hair

I salute you, Oprah! Thanks to you, I’m living my best Nixon life!