Toward the end of last month some DJ played “September Morn” by Neil Diamond on the radio as a joke, like “ha ha, let’s play a song from the 70’s!” And it made me really sad, because I was born in the 70’s and when people make those kinds of jokes it feels like they’re playing a joke on me.

I didn’t ask to be born in the 70’s, y’know. It wasn’t a choice. But it’s part of who I am, like my height or my weight or my uncontrollable habit of overturning personalized gift kiosks at the mall. I was born with it, and I’m not gonna run from it. I will be proud of who I am! I AM SOMEBODY!!! SEPTEMBER MORN!!!

The other thing is, could somebody please start humming a different song? “September Morn” has been stuck in my head for over a week now and it’s driving me nuts. Stupid 70’s music… can’t stand that s***.