the cast of Mannequin

This love story starts innocently enough.

Ned Nefer is very much in love with his wife, Teagan

Sounds like the kind of love you’d want to rush out into the streets and shout about to the world, right? Or maybe But the locals insist that Teagan is the kind of girl you don’t bring home to mother. Unless mother is Bob Vila, maybe.

he’s pushing the 6-foot wooden mannequin across upstate New York to spend a weekend in the woods with her.

Pushing meaning in a wheelchair, not shoving her.

This is no ordinary trip, either – the couple will mark their 25th anniversary together this fall. And this is where their story crosses into our domain a little bit:

Nefer’s relationship is one that’s built on trust – and lumber. He told the Daily Times that Teagan was only a head when they first met. But he built her a wooden body and claims they were married on Oct. 31, 1986, in California.

Only a head? Like Jan in the Pan, from The Brain That Wouldn’t Die!

Jan in the Pan

And when she got a full wooden body, she probably looked a little like Morty, the lumbering villain of The Fear, no?


One last thought. The original article refers to Teagan as a “6-foot effigy.” Say that Teagan ran for political office, um, in the past, and she made some decisions in office that honked off some folks. Would old timey people burn effigies in effigy too? Or would they just not vote for them in the first place?