This one prompts some questions. First and foremost: is “River” even a Christmas song at all? Second: why have hundreds of people covered this song on their holiday albums? And finally: why is one of the people on that list Robert Downey Jr.?
Let’s answer the last question first and work our way backwards. This version of “River” is part of “A Very Ally Christmas,” a turn-of-the-millennium CD in which the cast of TV’s “Ally McBeal” sings Christmas songs. It’s actually mostly Vonda Shepard, who is an actual singer/songwriter, but there are a few other voices, too. Calista Flockhart, Ally McBeal herself, is one of them; offering a short but serviceable version of “Santa Baby.” Jane Krakowski has fun belting out “Run Rudolph Run” and “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus,” and Robert Downey Jr., who played Ally’s season four love interest Larry Paul, sings one of Joni Mitchell’s most heartbreaking songs.
We will come back to why in a moment, but as a piece of music it mostly works. Downey is an actor, but one who can sing pretty well; he sounds a little like Adam Duritz if the Counting Crows frontman had listened to slightly less soul music. (If Downey had stayed on Ally McBeal he could’ve followed in the illustrious screen-to-hit record footsteps of Don “Heartbeat” Johnson or even Patrick “She’s Like The Wind” Swayze!) The arrangement adds a few extra layers, especially cellos, that are probably network-TV friendly but also a bit distracting, but the bones of the track are pretty faithful to Joni’s original version, which is rare and welcome. (It always boggles my mind when singers think they do “River” justice by belting it out like they’re on Broadway.) In all, Downey’s “River” sounds better in your ears than it might on paper.
But if you know “River” at all, you know this is not a song that’s filling anybody with happy holiday feeling. If anything, it’s a North Polar opposite of the usual Christmas fare about coming together and feeling the love. It’s about the end of Mitchell’s celebrated relationship with fellow singer/songwriter Graham Nash, who famously paid tribute to their life together in Laurel Canyon in his bouncy song “Our House.” And it was great, until it wasn’t, which is when Mitchell split for Europe and sent Nash a telegram that read “If you hold sand too tightly in your hand, it will run through your fingers. Love, Joan.”
“River” goes deep into the feelings that come after a breakup like that: the narrator is mostly sure that it had to happen, but still hears that voice inside saying “I’ve gone and lost the best baby that I ever had.” The piano quotes “Jingle Bells” in a minor key, right in tune with the lyrics about how everyone else is “singing songs of joy and peace” while the narrator dreams of skating away from her whole life, even Christmas.
And this is what seemingly everyone wants to sing for the holidays?!?!?
I can at least understand why Robert Downey Jr.’s character would want to sing “River.” Larry and Ally were on track to get married in the show’s season finale, until something went wrong and Larry called the wedding off with a letter. This wasn’t the original plan, as the something that had gone wrong involved Downey’s off-camera personal demons, but the plan B fits the song better. (Thankfully Downey’s in a much better place now, maybe his next Christmas song will be happier?)
I guess people sing “River” because it’s an outstanding song by one of the true greats, and it’s hard to deny that no matter how far it may veer from the standard Christmas song playbook. And, for the record, the answer to our first question – is “River” a Christmas song at all? – is yes. I wouldn’t have said yes myself when I first fell for the “Blue” album years ago, but Joni Mitchell herself has declared it so. “‘River’ expresses regret at the end of a relationship… but it’s also about being lonely at Christmas time,” she said in a statement a few years back. “A Christmas song for people who are lonely at Christmas! We need a song like that.”
Am I going to argue with her? I am not.
