Art Can Hurt

Transylvania 6-5000

Transylvania 6-5000 is sort of the filmic equivalent of a late 80's Rod Stewart record- there's a whole lot of talent there, but you sure ain't gonna see it.

Gleaming The Cube

Gleaming the Cube isn't a great b-movie, though it does have some fun moments, and about six hundred subplots

Troll

I've just finished watching "Troll" and I fear for my sanity. Seriously, I've had hallucinations that make more sense.

Reefer Madness

Reefer Madness is one of the best-known b-movies, and one of the best-loved, at least by those who've never seen it.

Death Machine

The teaser says it feeds on my fear. Too bad it didn't feed on my anything else, or it might've been a better movie.

KISS Meets The Phantom Of The Park

Peter Criss's super power is... to stand around and look stoned while a Hanna-Barbera voice actor dubs his lines?

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes

The movie's essentially a two-hour joke about how a tomato is a zany movie villain, only it isn't.

Killer Klowns From Outer Space

One of the truly kult klassics of kontemporary kinema, "Killer Klowns" is a b-movie you laugh with, not at. Well, except for the Kotton Kandy pods, the dialogue or John Allen Nelson.

Kill a Dragon

Kill a Dragon has very little killing and no dragons; in their place is a ridiculous psychedelic theme song and a plot that never quite gets going.

Santa Claus Conquers The Martians

You know your movie is in trouble when you notice a major mistake in the opening sequence. "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" has two.
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What people are reading

Frogs

"This scary movie was so un-scary I was waiting for Count Floyd to come out."

The 1988 Crystal Light National Aerobics Championships

I'm fuzzy about the how and why of an aerobics competition. Aren't we ALL winners when we work out?

The Warriors

Somehow this movie manages to be ridiculous and fascinating at the same time.

Think About This: A Workplace Safety Video

Welcome to the factory of the damned - "Modern Times" as directed by Sam Peckinpah and filmed by your cable access station.

The Fear 2: Halloween Night

Trish gets into bed with Mitch, even though she'd told him ten minutes before that she wasn't stupid enough to fall for his smooth talk. Then Morty comes out of the closet and starts watching them! When they catch on, Morty throws Mitch out the window, and we see that Mitch's pants are somehow still on!