Dear Frank:

You’re dead, Frank, man. What’s that like?

The Dude

Los Angeles, Calif.

Dear The Dude:

You gotta love livin’, baby, ’cause dyin’ is a pain in the ass.

Frank Sinatra

Dear Frank:

What does it sound like when doves cry?

The Artist formerly known as Prince

Minneapolis, The U S of A

Dear The Artist formerly known as Prince:

A rancid-smelling aphrodisiac.

Frank Sinatra

Dear Frank:

I stole some lyrics from you for one of my songs. Do you know which one?


London, England

Dear Sting:

Do be do be do.

Frank Sinatra

Dear Frank:

Where’s the beef?

Stella Pevsner

Wendy’s, Anytown, Anystate, USA

Dear Stella Pevsner:

You only live once, and the way I live, once is enough.

Frank Sinatra

Dear Frank:

Who can it be now?


At, Work

Dear Men:

Rock ‘n Roll: The most brutal, ugly, desperate, vicious form of expression it has been my misfortune to hear.

Frank Sinatra

Dear Frank:

Mr. Sinatra, I feel your life could have been extended for a good 2-3 months had you not had so much to drink during your lifetime. Don’t you feel that drinking was a bad influence on your lifespan? Our group could use your endorsement, albeit posthumous.


Portland, OR

Dear Melanie:

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy. I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.

Frank Sinatra

Dear Frank:

Who loves ya baby?



Dear Kojack:

I love Germany. I´ve even got a German car. At least I think it´s German. It´s got power-steering, power-brakes, everything´s power.

Frank Sinatra

Dear Frank:

I have a question. Am I supposed to treat a lady the same as a dame, or are the two separate sociological entities?


Paducah, Kentucky

Dear John:

You treat a lady like a dame, and a dame like a lady.

Frank Sinatra

Dear Frank:

Did you ever f*** my wife?

Jake LaMotta

New York, NY

Dear Jake LaMotta:

If I had as many love affairs as you have given me credit for, I’d now be speaking to you from a jar at the Harvard Medical School.

Frank Sinatra

Dear Frank:

Now, you must ask yourself one question: `Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do you, punk?’

Dirty Harry

San Franscisco, CA

Dear Dirty Harry:

Basically, I’m for anything that gets you through the night – be it prayer, tranquilizers or a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Frank Sinatra

Dear Frank:

Uh . . . huh,huh, uh . . . huh,huh . . . Um . . . like, what is your problem with chicks?


My couch, Right next to your butt

Dear Beavis:

I’m supposed to have a Ph.D. on the subject of women. But the truth is I’ve flunked more often than not. I’m very fond of women; I admire them. But, like all men, I don’t understand them.

Frank Sinatra

Dear Frank:

I am writing a sequel to my best-selling film “An Inconvenient Truth,” about the toxic waste being spewed into our air. Would you like to write the introduction for me?

Al G.

Sparta, Tennessee

Dear Al G.:

Fresh air makes me throw up. I can’t handle it. I’d rather be around three Denobili cigars blowing in my face all night.

Frank Sinatra