Just cut the power and water at your house now: A guide to bad Hurricane Sandy advice

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A friend of a friend started a hashtag game on Twitter tonight – #BadSandyAdvice – and I couldn’t help but add a few ideas into the mix.

Just cut the power and water at your house now. #BadSandyAdvice8:07 pm

Fill a large pot with the spiciest sauce you can create. Marinate every piece of food in the house with it. #BadSandyAdvice8:16 pm

Since everything’s closed already, might as well go stand in line now for “The Hobbit” tickets. #BadSandyAdvice8:23 pm

Call emergency services and insist that only The Last Airbender can save your city. #BadSandyAdvice8:29 pm

Disasters are great branding opportunities. Be sure to use every storm-related hashtag to offer retail discounts. #BadSandyAdvice8:34 pm

That hardware store manager who says they ran out of generators three days ago? Lying his ass off. Tell him so. #BadSandyAdvice8:46 pm

Write “WE HAVE EXTRA FOOD, EVERYONE WELCOME” on your neighbor’s garage. #BadSandyAdvice8:49 pm

You’ll never have a better opportunity to pester your roommates into giving roleplaying games a try. Don’t waste it. #BadSandyAdvice8:54 pm

If a neighbor becomes too ill to evacuate, drop by his/her house dressed as Patch Adams. At least you’ll leave ’em laughing. #BadSandyAdvice9:01 pm

“If you ask me, the soundtrack for this storm can only be one thing: KID ROCK.” #BadSandyAdvice9:16 pm

Remember, social media is changing everything. We can defeat the storm with enough tweets. #BadSandyAdvice9:28 pm

You are Kirok. You are a god. You can stop the storm if you and Spock can just get into the temple and deflect the asteroid. #BadSandyAdvice9:48 pm

Can you and that motorcycle of yours launch over the hurricane? One way to find out, right? #BadSandyAdvice9:55 pm

Introducing the new director of FEMA, The Iron Sheik! #BadSandyAdvice10:30 pm

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Brady Carlson
Brady Carlson
Brady Carlson is a writer and radio host from Madison, Wisconsin. more