Are there any minds left anywhere in the world? I ask because I follow Buzzfeed on Twitter, and several times a day things happen that cause people to literally lose their minds, totally lose their minds, lose it, completely lose it, and/or just plain lose their damn minds. I can’t tell if the same people are losing their minds over and over, or if mind-losing is spreading through the general population and society is going to break down and I better start stocking up on food and supplies, in case those who have lost their minds come for mine.
In these Buzzfeed pieces people lose their damn minds without warning. Seemingly innocuous things happen – cafés serve cakes, athletes compete, musicians release songs – and instantly people start losing their minds. In my day you had to endure a slow and painful decline before going bananas, or at least co-star in a movie with a talking Volkswagen. Now all it takes is watching the season finale of “The Bachelorette.”
To get to the bottom of this, I searched Buzzfeed’s Twitter account and website for any and all mentions of lost minds. I found forty of them – you can look through the list below, though I can’t guarantee you won’t literally lose your damn mind over it.
According to Buzzfeed, everybody has lost their minds over:
- this London café’s stacked crepe cakes. Admittedly they look good.
- this teen’s epic prom entrance. Well, ok.
- The Intense as F**k “Bachelorette” Ending. So many minds lost, just like that.
- Serena Williams winning Wimbledon. Come on, that happens like every couple of years.
- Kate Middleton On Serena Williams’ Snapchat. The Wimbledon of Snapchat guest shots.
- This raccoon with a “nice a**.” Presented without comment.
- Jeopardy! champion Buzzy Cohen. Really?
- Those spinning fidget toys. (teachers only)
- The new Pope. (Catholics only)
- The thermostat. (dads only)
- Lilly Pulitzer’s new collab with Starbucks (girls only)
- This concert Insta story. (Ariana Grande fans only)
- Pluto. (scientists only)
- Donald Trump winning. (Trump fans only)
- “Drag Me Down.” (Tumblr only)
- A church fundraiser. (Newfoundlanders only)
- Ben & Jerry’s making non-dairy ice cream. (vegans only)
- A Dallas Cowboys loss. (one Dallas Cowboys fan only)
- This terrifying baby prank. When did “terrifying baby pranks” become a thing? I think we deserve to know.
- Realizing Skechers Doesn’t Have a “T.” You know what, I withdraw that last question. Terrifying baby pranks is one internet rabbit hole I don’t want to go down.
- The South Korean president’s bodyguard. Or basically anyone in a photo that 3-5 Twitter users noticed.
- Taylor Swift posting another cryptic video. This is probably the most accurate use of the phrase “losing their damn minds.”
- Taylor Swift coming back to Spotify. See above.
- Jay-Z’s new album. Technically this is just a relapse of the mind-losing that went on after “Lemonade.”
- Zayn dropping his new music video. So musicians surprise everybody with new songs and people are surprised and that’s “everybody losing their minds”?
- This rude-sounding CBeebies song. Whatever. Fine.
- 44 songs from middle school. Losing one’s mind at songs from middle school is self-protection.
- Rihanna starting a makeup line. I admit getting excited about this and I don’t even wear makeup.
- Ruby Rose. The person or the flower variety?
- The world’s blackest material. John Shaft’s DNA?
- This black bath bomb. What happens when Johnny Cash owns a Bath & Body Works.
- This Chloe Grace Moretz doppleganger. Who is holding a black bath bomb. Probably.
- The 2017 General Election Exit Poll. Or any poll.
- Theresa May’s savage Cabinet reshuffle. Worst punk band name ever.
- How close the presidential race is. An entire year lost its damn mind over that campaign.
- Beer Being Sold In Canadian Supermarkets. The best thing about losing your mind over beer is that you have no brain cells left to kill afterward.
- Canada still not having Pokemon Go. A real tragedy.
- Learning You Can Swipe on the Calculator App. Um…
- Rainbow toasties. Uhh…
- Kylie Jenner revealing her ramen recipe. At which point we can declare no mind unlost.
