So your friends are throwing you a birthday party, and you get a few good DVD’s, maybe a book or two, or a bottle of wine if that’s your thing, and then one of your friends pulls out this huge wrapped thing and says, beaming, “Guess what? I had somebody paint you as a centaur! And I had them paint your wife riding on your back! Cause that doesn’t make any comments about the state of your marriage. I knew you’d love it. I can help you hang it this weekend…”

Etsy Alchemy Request: 'A painting of my friend as a centaur while his wife rides him like a horse'

I’d particularly like to point out two things here. First, the background: “volcanoes exploding as robotic dinosaurs fight viking ghosts”… “or whatever.”

Second: twenty bucks? Jeez, the robotic dinosaurs are worth at least an extra fiver.

Nonetheless, I’m sure Yes album artist Roger Dean can handle this request. Or maybe the guy who drew Roger Daltrey as a centaur:

Roger Daltrey rides a rock horse

Maybe you could have The Who in the background fighting the Viking ghosts and robotic dinosaurs?

via Regretsy, of course