To Serve Man: Robots Seize Control of Dessert

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Do robots want to take over our meals? I’m not convinced cybernetic beings want any part of haggis, heat-lamped buffet trays or Moons Over My Hammy. I did see a bot run past my house last week yelling “CRAVING FOR FOURTHMEAL CONFIRMED!” but that could also have been a tenth grader coming back from Gamestop.

Dessert, though, is another story – who wouldn’t want to take over cupcakes and chocolate bars? This automated cake decorating thingy isn’t quite a robot, but still, it’s a step.

I applaud these students and their frosting-bot for their impressive work. Notice, though, that the cake has to be frosted before the robot can decorate it! The decorating is the only part I can do without hearing someone say “Now look what you’ve done” or “I told you to leave that cake alone”!

Features I’d like to see in the next iteration of frostingbot: full cake frosting functionality, optional sprinkles and M&M distribution, power windows, voice-activated GPS, 10 year Powertrain warranty.

There’s also news of a candy-scooping robot. This robot has mechanical arms, a head that can move up and down and sideways so he can see the children and the candy alike. He can take tomorrow and dip it in a dream, too; that said, he can’t yet take a sunrise and sprinkle it with dew. So far he can only sprinkle it with parsley – they’re still working on the dew setting. If this robot gets hold of some Oompa Loompas, well, then look out.

Robot Wonka

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Brady Carlson
Brady Carlson
Brady Carlson is a writer and radio host from Madison, Wisconsin. more