Is it any wonder that American news reading has dropped somewhere between zero and 100 percent in the last five years? It is? Well, that’s probably because the decline was reported in major newspapers after you’d stopped reading them. But as someone who said “change isn’t inevitable, or irreversible” once said, change isn’t inevitable, or irreversible. We’re convinced that the news can become a part of the average person’s day again. Cripes, if “The Ghost Whisperer” can pick up a following, what can’t?

It seems obvious to start with the young kids; if we’re being honest, it’s probably best to write our generation off altogether. Our idea is to use colorful and whimsical drawings to entice the kids into reading the news. I just have a hunch that a 34 columns of “Safire on Hair-Splitting” won’t hold a candle to a bear that can play the drums, or whatever.

We present a few examples for your consideration. Upon receiving your positive feedback I intend to lobby pretty much every university I can think of for an honorary PhD, or at least a free meal at the dorm cafeteria. Then I can go on my long-awaited college tour as a prop comic. But let me be clear: that’s my Plan B.

Illustrations are courtesy Eric Sturdevant’s Old Children’s Books photoset, which is such a good idea that I may open a college just to give him a PhD. Click on any image to see a larger version.

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