“Meatball enthusiast”“Man forced to eat beard”“Mindless eater”… TV news certainly has a way of encapsulating a person’s life in the strangest way possible.

Today’s question is: what’s the weirdest (and accurate) description TV news could give you? What’s the oddest phrase the local broadcast could put under your name on the screen?

A few possibilities for myself: “Tried to give himself haircut”; “Searched internet for Millard Fillmore Anime”; “Watches North Korean monster movies.”  How about you?