“COPS” turns 21 today, which means it’s a perfect day to bring up a story that I’ve been meaning to write about for a while. Meet a man who allegedly tried to do a robbery at a police officers’ convention:

Retired police chief John Comparetto was attending the meeting of 300 officers when he was allegedly held up at gunpoint in the men’s toilets.

He handed over money and a phone but then he and some colleagues gave chase as the suspect tried to flee in a taxi.

They arrested a 19-year-old man over the incident near Harrisburg.

The Associated Press news agency reported that when a journalist asked the suspect for comment as he was led from court, he said: “I’m smooth.”

Talk about an all-purpose response!
“Why didn’t you put the recycling out last night?”
“I’m smooth.”

“Why did you embezzle those funds from hardworking people?”
“I’m smooth.”

“You drove through the wall of a nursing home, stole a patient’s wheelchair, drove the suspect down a hallway in the stolen wheelchair and launched him out a sixth story window, all without reading the suspect his Miranda rights! What have you got to say for yourself, Callahan?”
“I’m smooth, Chief.”