It would’ve been more fun for Jimmy to write something like “Dear suckers, you just shelled out six million bucks for a handful of us to write 24 recaps and long treatises on Emperor Palpatine’s political beliefs.”

Jimmy, bless him, is a true believer, but that doesn’t mean we’re not stuck with entries like Ed Wood, which stretches notability (not to mention basic coherence) to its limits:

Reverend Steve Galindo of Sacramento, California, created a legally recognized religion in 1996 with Wood as its official savior. The Church of Ed Wood[7] now boasts over 3,500 legally baptized followers. Woodites, as Steve’s followers are called, celebrate Woodmas on October 10, which is Ed’s birthday. It is the Ed Wood Christmas.

To recap: The Ed Wood Christmas is called “Woodmas.”

And to think, there used to be a time when six million dollars could be used to take a man barely alive and use the technology – which we have – to rebuild him.