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The Guy In My Parking Lot

People come up to me at restaurants all the time and say, “Would you like to order something?” That’s when I sign the menu for them. They’re too shy to ask outright for an autograph. But one time I was at a restaurant and I’d already signed the menu for the guy. Then he wants me to sign the credit card slip too! I says, “What, are you one of those jerks who sells my autographs on the computer?” And I walked right out of there. Nobody makes a monkey out of Max.
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