Five lines worth remembering from the past week:

  1. “Why are you telling Target?” – a person called Brigid, after seeing a person called Ralph post on Target’s Facebook “Sorry, not going to the state fair this year.” [Buzzfeed]
  2. “Jeb Bush had grown fond of Pitbull, the Miami performer gone global, who seemed to share his zeal for education policy.” – reporter Matt Flegenheimer on the bromance of the year, or something. [New York Times]
  3. “They compared him to Mr. Potato Head, a satellite, and a wingnut.” – reporter Jay Hathaway on the police pursuit, and subsequent internet mocking of, a big-eared British fugitive. [New York Magazine]
  4. “Don’t worry, baby’s too drunk to feel anything.” – Jen Russell, with the perfect response to people who feel obligated to tell you that your baby’s cold/tired/hungry/wet/whatever. [Twitter]
  5. “He came out and had a couple of drinks with us, and when he heard it was my birthday, he bought me a drink (drinking age is 18 in Quebec), so the first person to buy me my first legal drink was Lemmy Kilmister, how cool is that?” – David Shostal, raising his glass in memory of Lemmy, the only man who rocked so hard Super Mario Brothers named a Koopa after him. [Motorhead on Facebook]