There’s new research out that finds couples can keep a conflict from escalating by taking a short break during an argument.
How short? Sometimes five seconds is all it takes.
This comes from a study out of the University of St. Andrews, published in the journal Communications Psychology.
The way they studied this phenomenon is really something.
They had couples play a game where they could make their partner hear “an unpleasant noise,” and they got to choose the volume.
The participants did this for 30 rounds, and the researchers designated breaks of specific lengths in between certain rounds.
Researchers found the couples often matched each others’ level of aggression, so if one played a loud version of the noise to literally honk their partner off, the other one would respond in kind.
But a short break disrupted that pattern.
Participants would stop trying to retaliate or get even with their partners, and overall their aggression levels in the game were lower.
Couples said as much in their post-game feedback, too.
And possibly the most interesting part is that the study found a five second break was just as beneficial as a 10 or 15 second break.
So maybe just the act of taking a break, not the length of the break, is what helps deescalate the situation.
The authors point out that this technique is useful for everyday arguments only; a five second break isn’t going to stop violence in the home or head off addiction.
But for all the other kinds of arguments, those short pauses might be enough to get us out of arguing mode and back to more productive conversations.
And, as lead researcher Annah McCurry put it, “it’s cheaper than couples therapy.”
Today is National Pet Bird Day.
Since we were already talking about arguing, I thought we should talk about a heavy metal band with a South African Grey Parrot doing “death squawking” instead of singing.
The band’s name: Hatebeak.
Cheaper than couples counselling: take a five-second break (University of St. Andrews)
Hatebeak (Metal Archives)
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