Lame New World Week 5: To Pac-Man, Your TV is Just Another Energy Pill
Remember that quote from This is Spinal Tap, “There’s a fine line between stupid and clever”? We are standing on that line.
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Posts by month
January 2010
19 posts
Four Birds We Should All Watch With Concern
Metal Rooster embodies the existential dread of the male chicken. The only thing he has to live for is your succulence, and so he channels his aggression and despair into song. Metal Rooster’s life is not pretty. Neither is his music.
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My Year With The A-Team: Season 1, Episode 9 – Holiday in the Hills
Murdock receives a letter at the mental hospital that he’s inherited a llama farm in West Virginia, only to learn that the neighboring farms are being torched, one by one, by a psychotic Milton Berle. The A-Team shuffles on down to the farm to help Murdock’s mountain relations, “Doc†and “Mary Louise†Murdock, but Uncle Miltie traps them all inside a burning horse stall, and the only supplies at their disposal are two rakes, a Budweiser “Clydesdales of 1982†calendar and six thousand pounds of manure. Also, Milton Berle is in a dress, a dress Hannibal is pretty sure was his.
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Foil Stamped. GUARANTEED
“It took me 25 years to design this,” he says, and that’s a bummer because he’s a business card designer and has only been able to finish two projects, lifetime. Not to worry, though – he’s well on his way to being profitable, provided he continues working until at least the year 2860.
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My Year With The A-Team: Season 1, Episode 8 – The Out-of-Towners
Once again in need of some R&R, the A-Team heads to a bed and breakfast in Vermont run by an old army buddy of Hannibal’s (played by Tom Poston of “Newhartâ€) The place has seen better days, so Hannibal concocts a plan to liven it up by putting on a fancy song-and-dance show for all their old military friends, just like in “White Christmas.†(Don’t miss B.A. and Murdock performing “Sistersâ€!) Colonel Lynch thinks this is a jolly chance to capture the A-Team, but then Tom Poston’s mild-mannered character goes on a killing spree and the team has to blow him up with explosives instead of build him up with song, dance and laughter. The only episode of “The A-Team†co-written by Irving Berlin and David Mamet.
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Lame New World Week 4:Put That Thing Away Before You Get Us All Killed!
C3P0 is fluent in six million forms of communication – and jiggling his chest at you is not one of them.
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My Year With The A-Team: Season 1, Episode 7 – The Rabbit Who Ate Las Vegas
After a couple of difficult missions, including the one where B.A. got shot and had to get a blood transfusion from Murdock, the A-Team decides to take some R&R at a Montana hunting lodge. They run into none other than Bugs Bunny, and it’s a matchup for the ages: Bugs’s tricks (“Wabbit Season!†“A-Team Season!â€) vs. Hannibal’s plans, at least until Face decides the best way to settle things is through a game of Texas Hold ‘Em: one round, winner take all. Also, Murdock dresses like a lady bunny to try to romance Bugs.
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My Year With The A-Team: Season 1, Episode 6 – Black Day at Bad Rock
The A-Team gets hired by MECC, the educational software group, to do some field research for their new game, “Oregon Trail.†Thanks to a spiteful group of fellow pioneers, the A-Team has nothing but trouble on their leg of the journey: a thief steals two wagon tongues, Murdock loses the trail and must wait for three days, and Hannibal gets dysentery and cannot ford the river just east of Bad Rock. When things look their bleakest, a Native American guide tells the team about a fish that will call in some political favors and get them across the stream… if they’ll assassinate its rival, a guppy who’s been leading in the latest round of polls.
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I kind of wish John Cusack was a puppet
Cause if I was sleeping and a puppet woke me up by blasting Peter Gabriel on his jukebox, I’d be touched and we’d have a tearful reunion. If John Cusack did it I’d grab the neighbor’s bowhunting equipment and it would not end well.
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Lame New World Week 3: Thank You Jesus, But Our Princess is in Another Castle
Maybe putting Charles in charge of me is the wu wei of our time; to be free, let the river that is Baio flow, and swim with its tide. Ok. I’ve found my center, let us begin.
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