March 4, 1841. A hatless, coatless old man is shouting to a crowd on the streets of Washington DC in the wind and snow. Is he crazy? Is he lost? Is he a hobo? No, he's the President of the United States, William Henry Harrison, giving his inaugural address.

And if you look at just his torso, you might think of him as a sort of funky 1970's type - give the man a zodiac-related medallion to wear and he'll get that night fever, he knows how to show it.

Washington's sword looks like a magic wand. Seriously, doesn't he look like he's about to shout "alohomora!" and unlock the heck out of some doors?

How disturbingly fitting that the highest drama in the history of American crime should take place at a theater.

It's the only statue depicting the Great Emancipator as a young military man, looking out at the river and trying his damnedest to remember the commands he'll need to lead his men.

A simple, elegant black stone monument that marks the final stop on the biggest funeral procession the country had - and probably has - ever seen.

You just never know who you'll run into on Chicago's L trains, do you?

Lots of towns promote events or historic sites connected to the Great Emancipator, but the town of Lockport has outdone them all. Their Lincoln statue has three heads.

Could we eventually see the National Park Service declare a "President _____'s College Apartment" a historic site? "This is where he or she partied too hard one night," the guide would say, and we'd never be able to look at the commander in chief the same way again.

Attention Jeff Tweedy of Wilco: George Washington is an American aquarium drinker, and he is trying to break your heart.